Theme by nostrich.
Isn’t everything just perception? We react to stimuli; Happenings around us are converted into a certain meaning into our minds. Pain, happiness, sorrow, jealousy, all these are just figments of our own imagination then, isn’t it? So why do we allow people to hurt us? Why do we allow ourselves to become jealous and make a fool out of ourselves? Why are we scared of huge fucking spiders…? Because in reality they can’t do shit to us, we can just destroy them with one stomp. It almost feels like we’re not in control of ourselves. How is that possible? My arm moves when I tell it to move, my leg moves when I tell it to move. So how come in the past when I told myself to stop the negative emotions, it didn’t work? And why do I feel these emotions when I try to completely block them out? Is it all just mental power? Maybe there’s something embedded in us as human beings that make us weak. Perhaps it’s bad habits, primitive natural instincts, and safeguarding reactions that are just that difficult to get rid of. But once again, since we are supposedly in control of ourselves, then why is it that we can’t block these emotions out? I guess the truth is we aren’t fully in control of our own mind states, and it’s something we have to earn. You can’t hold your breath in and try to suffocate yourself that way. Your mind just won’t allow it, and eventually you’re going to give up and take a gasp of air. There are certain things our mind just won’t allow us to do, and other things that are minds make extra hard for us to do. It’s almost like a war in your head (something I go through everyday), where there is one side that is a law embedded in your brain as natural instinct, habit, or reaction, that forces you to do a certain thing. Then there’s the other side that YOU are in control of. Now it all boils down to which side has more control over your mind. Is it your natural human being laws that are in more control, or are YOU in more control? So there comes a time in your life where there will be a fork in a road where we have to decide which path we want to take. Perhaps it’s a break up. If you stay, you continue to hurt, and you can’t control your own emotions of being jealous or being hurt. If you leave, it hurts even worse than that. So what do you do? You just have to stay tenacious and force yourself to break through it, like your trying to run through a barrier that is holding you back. And after you break through it, the habit, instinct, or reaction may get weaker, or may completely fade away. The war in our head will probably never stop as long as we are human beings, but it will get easier. And some wars we shouldn’t try to stop, because it is what keeps us humane and sane. It’s important for us to feel certain emotions such as guilt, or else we may become heartless killers. It’s important for us to keep the instinct of hunger, or we could completely destroy that part of our natural mind and starve to death.
