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Well, what do ya know? Four years gone by in a flash. Time really does wait for nobody. Schools over. Commencement was extremely hot, the walk was extremely gratifying. Just being in the presence of all the graduates gave me a happy-go-lucky feeling. It was a great day, but now I’m here feeling like shit. Too much on my mind I suppose, the same thing last night when I couldn’t sleep from reflecting too much on my life. I thought I’d be happy when I graduate but I’m not. Guess it’s just the way our mind works, we always want what we can’t have. When I’m in school, I want to graduate. Just graduated, and now reminiscing the past has got me missing it. Part of me is also very disappointed. I did graduate with honors, magna cum laude, with a 3.8 GPA or whatever, but I got nothing to show for it. No internship, no job, while some people out there are already going to come out making decent money. What hurts the most is that my parents are so proud of me. Of course, they definitely do have a lot to be proud of. Their son just graduated with honors. I made a ridiculous turn around from the high school days. But I still haven’t gotten a job. They have all these high hopes in me and I feel like I haven’t effectively shown anything to them except a piece of paper. And what about the dreams that I want to chase? No, I can’t lose. I won’t lose. My parents came here deaf and mute and raised two children into adults and have a house to their name. It soothes me a bit and motivates me whenever I feel like shit that I’ll never allow myself to end up a failure because I can’t afford to disappoint my parents. Nope. Won’t happen.
http://www.ny1.com/content/top_stories/160215/two-charged-in-deadly-bronx-iphone-mugging
Just breaks my heart. It’s wrong enough to rob someone, but why you gotta shoot him too? And kick him afterwards to make sure he’s dead!? For an iPhone!? Where is the love in this world… you don’t even have to love, just don’t go pulling shit like this. And if you really don’t give a fuck about anybody else in this world, think about yourself. Smarten up, all the money you stack is all the money for bail. Now you’re probably lost to the system for life.
They tell you hard work pays off… they tell you that if you live a honest life and do good things, good things will come back to you. How did everything ever go this wrong?
Man I’d love to follow a lot of things. Political debates, TV series like the Walking Dead, play all these different hype ass games like Call of Duty, watch every sport from baseball to hockey, but there just isn’t time for all of this stuff on top of everything I already do and follow. It’s just not possible to know and do everything in this entire world. There is too much. Sucks, but you just gotta pick and choose your priorities, and yeah, it sucks ass that you don’t get to start a new TV series and watch every episode when it comes out, but I guess that’s just something you have to look past.
People always trying to admit they were the first to do something, so they can have all the bragging rights about how they got on it first and everybody else that came in later is a biter, band wagoner, or somehow inferior to them. It’s not that serious man… chill with it.
it becomes your downfall. Today I was running in Kissena Park. There is a lake which many runners journey around which spans about half a mile. On my journey around this lake, I spy many runners, fat, skinny, in shape females, old men, etc. Anyway, I come across this man running in the same direction as me. I never got a good look at his face, but he was probably in his 40’s or so. He was running at a relatively slower pace than me, and I was getting past him quickly. It wasn’t that I was competing with him at all… that had been the same pace I was running at during my whole course. I was just a guy running in the park for my own fitness benefit. I had no inferiority complex nor was I trying to show that I was better than him by running past him. I was simply doing me. However, for some reason, this guy either took it that way, or was so full of himself that he would not allow someone else to run past him. Right after I got past him, he immediately started speeding up. He ran way past me, like 100 yards away, before he started slowing down back to his normal pace. And since naturally I ran a faster pace than him, it took me no time to catch up to him again and run past him. I mean, I wasn’t doing it on purpose, once again, I was simply doing me. That’s the pace I’ve been running at for months now. Right after I get past him, he does the same thing AGAIN! Once again, he speeds past me, this time for about 50 yards before he slows down again. And once again I run past him. This probably happens once or twice more, but I knew he was getting tired. Then, this guy actually LEAVES THE ROUTE that he’s been running at. I knew he left because he was getting mad at me for running past him. He ran around the pond about twice, which is about one mile. One does not simply start a route and randomly steer off. But chill out dude, I was just doing me. But this guy… it just shows how pathetically competitive some people are. Be competitive where it matters, and it shows what a great warrior you are. Be competitive over every little happening, and it shows what a pathetic loser you are.
Crazy how things work out… on one hand I’d love to get all my wasted time back, on the other time I wouldn’t want to trade my past away. It was so precious. Crazy how time changes everything. Time is like water, your experience is the sugar in the glass. The more water you add, the more dissolved the sugar becomes. Everything is bound to break up someday. Your happiness, your sadness, heartbreaks, joy, enthusiasm, stupidity, immaturity… everything. It all just seems so distant, so far, yet it was once in the grasp of your hands. I miss it… but I guess that’s the beauty of the beast we call nostalgia… like I said previously, no matter what, your past will always be the best… because you’ll never get it back again.
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